Mindset and Positivity

Well, it’s been forever since I posted anything new.  As it turns out, getting snowed in does wonders for my spare time, and I’ve recently experienced a string of events that have prompted some serious reflection.

Last night, I woke from my after-school nap and decided that I was quite hungry.  I realized, with much irritation, that I pretty much had no food.  Oh well, time to make a trip to town.  As soon as I stepped outside, I saw that the ground seemed whiter than normal and some flurries were making their way down.  What the hell?  I thought it was just supposed to be rainy this weekend.  It doesn’t look too bad.  Huh, this forecast says that we’re going to get flurries and it might be a little slick on bridges.  All right, lets just do this. 

So, I drove carefully to town without any incident and picked up some food.  By the time I started heading back, things were accumulating a bit.  I drove slower than normal as any sane human would, but a little over halfway home, I rounded a curve and lost traction, sending me spinning until I crash-landed in a ditch.  The ditch wasn’t steep and my car still seemed operational, so I carefully crept back onto the road, but felt and heard the lovely thud thud thud of a flat as I got moving.

Unfortunately, there are no shoulders on the roads where I live, and it’s quite hilly and curvy, so I had no choice but to slowly ride the flat tire for a bit until I could find flat ground, knowing fully well that my tire and the rim were going to be destroyed in the process.  I finally got to a local restaurant, and parked.  Almost nobody was there, and the employees were leaving, not paying much attention to my car with a blown tire and blinking hazard lights.  It’s quite easy to feel the “sucks to be him” vibe.

I honestly didn’t know what to do.  I was still reeling from spinning out and being in this situation.  It was cold and the weather was getting worse.  Should I find a roadside assistance number?  Should I call the police since they’re not too far down the road?  Should I put my donut on by myself?  I’m just about useless when it comes to doing something practical with cars, and I had never changed a tire before, even though I generally understood the steps.  It’s like I was freezing up physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, all at once.

With the cold numbing my toes and my body shaking from not just the weather, but the constant, harassing thoughts of how stupid I had been and not being able to decide what to do, a couple of guys from the restaurant rolled up and offered to help.  I was useless for the most part, but long story short, they got my tire off and my donut on for me.  One of them told me, “I wasn’t about to leave you here like that.”  There’s nothing like experiencing a selfless deed to raise your faith in humanity.  I will never forget those guys.

I crawled home at a speed that would make the elderly impatient, and I successfully stopped my wheels from locking up a couple of times.  I couldn’t help but take note of a strange sound from the donut, and I was afraid that I had done way more than gotten a flat.  I made it home, called my parents, and tried my best to settle down and plan my next steps.  I barely slept.  I guess the experience of spinning out just like when you hit a banana peel in Mario Kart sticks with you for a while.

SecondaryRider – Tire Destroyer

This morning, I immediately checked on my car and saw that the donut was flat.  Are you f!@#$%^& serious?  I’m going to have to get my ass towed or something.  Great, more money down the drain.  This happens every time I try to save up money.  After conferencing with my dad, I decided to use my tire inflater to see if I could inflate the donut and see how long it lasted on the off chance that it could long enough for a drive into town.  On my first try, I heard a light pop, but no go.  No pressure increase.  Must be a puncture or leak somewhere.  I almost gave up, but upon seeking feedback, I was advised to try jacking the car up first.  The idea that little inflater may not be able to generate the pressure to lift the car seems obvious now, but wasn’t something I had considered.

C’MON INFLATER! GIVE THIS DONUT AIR!!

So, for the first time, I jacked up my own car with a scissor jack.  I hadn’t eaten breakfast, and I was still wearing my fleece Homer Simpson PJs as I worked.  Something changed inside me as I cranked that little bastard slowly up.  I felt strangely positive.  There was something about struggling and actually DOING something to get out of that situation that felt good.  Lo and behold, the donut started inflating and worked up to 60PSI.  I think I might have actually been having fun doing something a bit out of my element.

I’ve been checking on the donut every so often, and it’s been holding air just fine.  Apparently, I must have driven home on a mostly-flat donut last night, which may account for that awkward noise I was hearing (I sure hope it does).  So as I sit here stranded at my house, still reeling from my experiences, I’ve come to realize a few things.  Firstly, things could have been much worse.  I could have wrapped my car around a tree, rolled down a hill, or even hurt somebody else.  I could have died.  Instead I was helped by good people and made it home in one piece, and despite any setbacks, things seem like they’re going to be okay.

I could get caught up on feeling stupid, helpless, and anxious, especially as I try to plan out my next steps, but instead, there are many positives to be seen despite the situation I found myself in.  Also, there are things to be learned from this experience.  Every experience, no matter how negative, is an opportunity to learn.  If you don’t give up, grit your teeth, and reach out, you can overcome tough obstacles.  This is part of having a growth mindset.

Here’s a few things that I’ve learned:

1. I know that meteorology isn’t a precise line of work, but I’ve learned firsthand how absurdly inaccurate it can be and to use your eyes and ears when making decisions, despite what a forecast says.  (By the way, we’re getting way more snow than forecasted, and it’s still going.)
2. If you need to change out a tire for a donut, make sure the thing is inflated before driving on it.
3. I am pretty confident that I could now jack up my car and change a tire by myself.
4. Always keep stocked up on emergency food no matter what you think the weather is going to be like.

I’m sure there are a few things I could add to that list if I think some more, but I realize as I reflect that these feelings are very much relevant to my students.  At times they may feel helpless like I did standing in a cold parking lot not too long ago.  They might feel embarrassed and stupid like I did when I struggled with things that aren’t a big deal to some people and realized that I was ignorant of things that a lot of people know about.  Sometimes they want to give up like I did when my donut wouldn’t inflate.  They often can’t see the positive side to a struggle or a challenge, much like I couldn’t when I beefed it off the road.  They don’t see failures as opportunities to grow.  Rather, failure feels like something shameful or even something to not take seriously (“It’s not like I’m going to use this stuff anyway.”)

We need to change the energy of the classroom.  We need to make sure that it is a positive environment and instill that growth mindset into our students.  Imagine all the things that could be accomplished if every little failure or incident wasn’t a huge roadblock or deathtrap.

One of the things that my administrators at work have focused on is the idea that your mindset and your level of positivity affects your experience with just about everything.  You can either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.  Likewise, you can either have a positive and energizing approach to things or a negative, vampiric approach.

Keeping a positive outlook and a growth mindset is a tough thing for me.  I don’t consider myself to be a cheery, enthusiastic person by nature, and I’ve often seen the glass half-empty.  As I look to the future, I tend to make predictions that expect the worst, just to avoid disappointment and to come up with a game plan in case [x] scenario happens.  I might call it being “realistic”, but the reality is that I struggle not to put a negative spin on things sometimes, and it definitely leads to a lot of anxiety. Much is revealed about you in how you deal with challenging situations.  Negativity drains energy from not only you, but everyone around you.

As I sip some tea and type this, I feel that despite the unfortunate events I have experienced recently, these setbacks won’t stop me as long as I am willing to step forward.  My surge of positivity has even gone a step further.  I’ve decided I’m not going to let anything destroy my mindset and positivity, even when faced with trouble.  Be a beacon of light that shines through the darkness and energizes and inspires those around you.  We are made of star stuff, so there’s no reason why we can’t shine as brilliantly.